PERSONALIZING THE WEDDING CEREMONY

Since freedom is a basic principle underlying the beliefs and practices of Unitarian Universalists, we encourage the creation of ceremonies that are as meaningful as possible to the participants. The marriage service is one of the most important of these. Unlike other ceremonies such as those at birth and death, in marriage the principal participants are able to be actively involved. Because they are asked to make a lifetime commitment, they should be involved in creating a ceremony symbolizing that commitment. The couple is encouraged to develop a ceremony that meets their own needs. We are a welcoming congregation, and accommodate all couples. The materials presented here are intended to help in the creation of a unique ceremony.

There is no intention to suggest that a ceremony must be non-traditional to be meaningful. Indeed, some people find great value in the ancient words and phrases that have meant much to previous generations. The important thing is not to be too "different", or "way out", or "traditional", or "old-fashioned", but to be honest and sincere and to develop the kind of service with which the couple feels comfortable. Each couple should feel free to personalize their ceremony, including friends and relatives as readers, and ceremonies from other traditions.

A typical ceremony might include the following sections. Most of these sections are optional, but the parts required by the Marriage Act are mandatory .

Please click on the items below to see the details and sample wordings. You may use any of samples or write your own words for any section.

1. Opening Words and Introduction §
2. Recognition of the Gathered Company §
3. Affirmation of Intentions [Required by the Marriage Act] §
4. Charge to the Couple §
5. Betrothal §
6. Exchange of Vows [Required by the Marriage Act] §
7. Exchange of Rings §
8. Signing of the Registry and License (may be later, before Closing Words) [required by the Marriage Act]§
9. Pronouncement [Required by the Marriage Act] §
10. Closing Words or Benediction §

We also include appendices that describe other optional elements of the ceremony.

1. Candle Ceremony §
2. Ceremony of the Wine Cup or Loving Cup §
3. Prayer or Meditation §
4. Additional Readings §

The above on-line marriage guide is based on work done by the web administrator of the First Unitarian Congregation of Toronto and was adapted to our web pages with their permission.